i dont even know what to think any more. im not myself. i havent been for a while now. ive been depressed and any situation you put infront of me i will look at it negatively before i can look at it positively. i hate that. i never use to be like that. its ruining me.
and now the guy ive wanted all along seems like the guy i need to let go of most. im thinking my ex is what i need. i know hes an ex for a reason but not a very good one. hes always been there hes always cared. i think hes cared about me more than any other guy ive ever dated and im just simply blind to it.
im working at fixing my life but i suppose i just have to take it one day at a time..
I’ve been studying for finals since 4pm and have just finished. Woke up this morning with one of the worst hangovers and went to work 10-4.
Complete shit show last night but yeah it was pretty good. Got to party with my brother last night which was so great. Got to see my baby for the first time in two weeks and things with us seem really good. Adam was also home for the weekend, i was so happy to see him! We had a pretty good weekend.
I am of course in trouble with my mom once again. She really just needs to let me live my life and maybe i wont have to brake the rules all the time. Shes made at me for coming home late. Not really THAT big of a deal if you ask me…
I miss you. I know we’ve been trying to work things out but everytime we dont talk for even just a day i think somethings changed. You’ve hurt me so much and i know you thought you were helping or maybe even protecting me but truth be told all i need to be happy is you. Leaving me was the worst thing you could have ever done to me but it made me realize how much i love you..i just wish i could tell you that. I wish i could tell you so much but it just never seems like the right time. Neither of us are perfect but were perfect for each other. I know that for sure. I could never be happier when im with you. I could never be as happy with anyone else. I know this sounds dumb coming from a 17 year old but its the truth…
Well, it’s Saturday afternoon and im currently sitting at work..this may be the most exciting part of my day, grounded for the weekend for staying out all night last saturday. I mean yea it was the wronggg thing to do but cmon im a senior, being grounded is humiliating. I dont know, id say over all senior year sucks ass. I need to graduate as soon as humanly possible. Once that happens things will be 10x better. <3